Reverts b1b4ba501fdfaa, 90c9801c560b6, a3c84f78ca9c65a, ..

I haven't really traced it (yet), but on some servers, I'm observing
`ansible-playbook ... --tags=start` completing very slowly, waiting
to stop services. I can't reproduce this on all Matrix servers I manage.
I suspect that either the systemd version is to blame or that some
specific service is not responding well to some `docker kill/rm` command.

`ExecStop` seems to work great in all cases and it's what we've been
using for a very long time, so I'm reverting to that.

ExecStopPost should allow us to clean up (docker kill + docker rm)
even if the ExecStart (docker run ..) command failed, and not just after
a graceful service stop was initiated.

Source: https://www.freedesktop.org/software/systemd/man/systemd.service.html#ExecStopPost=

> WARNING: Error loading config file: .dockercfg: $HOME is not defined

.. which appeared in Docker 20.10.

The Docker 19.04 -> 20.10 upgrade contains the following change
in `/usr/lib/systemd/system/docker.service`:

```
-BindsTo=containerd.service
-After=network-online.target firewalld.service containerd.service
+After=network-online.target firewalld.service containerd.service multi-user.target
-Requires=docker.socket
+Requires=docker.socket containerd.service
Wants=network-online.target
```

The `multi-user.target` requirement in `After` seems to be in conflict
with our `WantedBy=multi-user.target` and `After=docker.service` /
`Requires=docker.service` definitions, causing the following error on
startup for all of our systemd services:

> Job matrix-synapse.service/start deleted to break ordering cycle starting with multi-user.target/start

A workaround which appears to work is to add `DefaultDependencies=no`
to all of our services.

to prevent docker from using dir instead of file

added docs, added seperate service for database, pr comments