Reverts b1b4ba501fdfaa, 90c9801c560b6, a3c84f78ca9c65a, ..

I haven't really traced it (yet), but on some servers, I'm observing
`ansible-playbook ... --tags=start` completing very slowly, waiting
to stop services. I can't reproduce this on all Matrix servers I manage.
I suspect that either the systemd version is to blame or that some
specific service is not responding well to some `docker kill/rm` command.

`ExecStop` seems to work great in all cases and it's what we've been
using for a very long time, so I'm reverting to that.

ExecStopPost should allow us to clean up (docker kill + docker rm)
even if the ExecStart (docker run ..) command failed, and not just after
a graceful service stop was initiated.

Source: https://www.freedesktop.org/software/systemd/man/systemd.service.html#ExecStopPost=

These are just defensive cleanup tasks that we run.
In the good case, there's nothing to kill or remove, so they trigger an
error like this:

> Error response from daemon: Cannot kill container: something: No such container: something

and:

> Error: No such container: something

People often ask us if this is a problem, so instead of always having to
answer with "no, this is to be expected", we'd rather eliminate it now
and make logs cleaner.

In the event that:
- a container is really stuck and needs cleanup using kill/rm
- and cleanup fails, and we fail to report it because of error
suppression (`2>/dev/null`)

.. we'd still get an error when launching ("container name already in use .."),
so it shouldn't be too hard to investigate.

> WARNING: Error loading config file: .dockercfg: $HOME is not defined

.. which appeared in Docker 20.10.

If a service is enabled, a database for it is created in postgres with a uniqque password. The service can then use this database for data storage instead of relying on sqlite.

The Docker 19.04 -> 20.10 upgrade contains the following change
in `/usr/lib/systemd/system/docker.service`:

```
-BindsTo=containerd.service
-After=network-online.target firewalld.service containerd.service
+After=network-online.target firewalld.service containerd.service multi-user.target
-Requires=docker.socket
+Requires=docker.socket containerd.service
Wants=network-online.target
```

The `multi-user.target` requirement in `After` seems to be in conflict
with our `WantedBy=multi-user.target` and `After=docker.service` /
`Requires=docker.service` definitions, causing the following error on
startup for all of our systemd services:

> Job matrix-synapse.service/start deleted to break ordering cycle starting with multi-user.target/start

A workaround which appears to work is to add `DefaultDependencies=no`
to all of our services.

Depending on the distro, common commands like sleep and chown may either
be located in /bin or /usr/bin.

Systemd added path lookup to ExecStart in v239, allowing only the
command name to be put in unit files and not the full path as
historically required. At least Ubuntu 18.04 LTS is however still on
v237 so we should maintain portability for a while longer.

This change allows us to work with both our existing Docker image
(`tedomum/matrix-appservice-irc:latest`) and with the
official Docker image (`matrixdotorg/matrix-appservice-irc`).

The actual change to the official Docker image requires more testing
and will be done separately.

Bridges start matrix-synapse.service as a dependency, but
Synapse is sometimes slow to start, while bridges are quick to
hit it and die (if unavailable).

They'll auto-restart later, but .. this still breaks `--tags=start`,
which doesn't wait long enough for such a restart to happen.

This attempts to slow down bridge startup enough to ensure Synapse
is up and no failures happen at all.

Fixes #171 (Github Issue).